


Silent Shadow

by psychicdreams



Category: Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Drama, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-10
Updated: 2014-05-14
Packaged: 2018-01-24 17:58:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1614131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/psychicdreams/pseuds/psychicdreams
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The silent shadow that guards Cloud can't be seen or felt or heard...but that doesn't mean Cloud doesn't know he's there...or who the person is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

  
_Please forgive me for the sorrow_  
 _For leaving you in fear._  
 _For the dreams we had to silence_  
 _That’s all there’ll ever be._  
 _Still, I’ll be the hand that saves you_  
 _Though you’ll not see that it is me._  
 _\--Within Temptation, Hand of Sorrow_

-0-0-0-0-

The blade sliced through the flesh of the monster without a sound and the silenced creature fell to the ground, dead. Not a single cry had permeated the darkness and he idly walked closer to the camp. He had no fear that he’d be seen with the light of the campfire. It didn’t matter because he couldn’t be seen except by very, very few beings. There was only one huddle next to the fire, a tuft of blonde hair poking out from underneath a blanket. It was cold that night, and Fenrir was at his back, the engine still cooling from the long ride.

Sephiroth watched the rise and fall of Cloud’s chest, even in sleep. He had made sure the moment he’d seen the monster that he was silenced so that the man’s sleep wasn’t disturbed. He didn’t think the man got enough sleep as it was and he still often worked himself to the bone until exhaustion overtook him. It reminded him so much of himself back then.

When he’d woken in the lifestream, it had been as if he’d been asleep for a long, long time. Like all the bad things he’d done he’d watched in a nightmare. He was dead, he knew that, at least for now, and that was where he belonged. He didn’t deserve life, monster that he was. He had caused this man untold pain and he was paying his penance. It was minor semantics that what he was actually doing by watching over Cloud was less a punishment since he actually _wanted_ to do it.

Being a spirit, Sephiroth had no need to sleep or eat and he’d begged Aeris to shield his visage from Cloud, who was normally so perceptive. The man could see things no one else could, like Aeris or Zack, even if sometimes it was only out of the corner of his eye. The last thing he wanted was for Cloud to start seeing him and think he’d gone mad to his paranoia. Even a year after his unfortunate reincarnation in Kadaj’s body, he could see that Cloud was not convinced he’d ‘stay in his memories’.

Slowly Sephiroth sat down next to Cloud’s head and brushed his hand over the spiky, yet soft locks. He could feel it…barely. That was the problem with not having a real body. He had very little feeling for anything except things that were spirits like himself. He could feel Masamune, the connects as he killed something, and just the slightest bit of Cloud thanks to his multiple dips in the Lifestream, but nothing else. Cold and heat didn’t affect him, and neither did distance. He might as well be a summon, as he’d tied himself to that body so that no matter where Cloud went, he dragged Sephiroth with.

Yet it was so difficult to look Cloud in the face. He remembered every expression from when he’d gone mad, imagined every tear that the boy wouldn’t shed. Zack and Aeris had forgiven him, naturally, but he had refused to even entertain the idea that there could be any forgiveness for himself. He didn’t deserve it, he knew, and more than that, he didn’t want it. He needed to live with it, without forgiveness, as the true penance for his deeds. Only if, and by some miracle if, Cloud forgave him would he ever consider that he might, by a miniscule bit, think that it could be had in the future. He was honestly torn between wondering if Cloud _could_ forgive him, feel anything but loathing, and the thought that of course he would, he was _Zack’s_ friend and would heap forgiveness upon his shoulders disregarding that it was the worst thing the savior of the world could do.

Cloud shifted in his sleep, burrowing deeper into the blanket as the wind blew through the treetops. It didn’t ruffle a strand of Sephiroth’s hair, nor did he feel it…but he did wish he could. If he could, then that would mean he could somehow help keep him warm. Instead, he cast a Fire2 on the slowly dying embers of the campfire, turning into a blaze again to help stave off the cold.

Sephiroth kept his vigil throughout the night, taking out a few more monsters that curiously crept toward the fire. Before sunrise, the telltale movement of Cloud caught his attention and he watched as the man sat up slowly. Those blue eyes tinged with mako’s green stared at the still burning fire and he looked around warily. They didn’t pause at his figure, didn’t even see him, and Sephiroth could almost see the question, the concern, in his gaze as to who must have stoked the flames in the night. There were no monster carcasses, he had disposed of them, leaving no evidence of his presence. Yet he didn’t think he was going completely unnoticed. Whether he would admit it or not, Cloud knew that he was being shadowed.

The tension in his shoulders was clear as Cloud broke his camp and settled back on Fenrir, heading still farther north to Bone Village. Honestly, Sephiroth didn’t have a clue what the man was doing this far north anyway. Shouldn’t he be back in Edge with Tifa and his…family?

They reached the small village by mid afternoon. He had expected Cloud to continue on, further, to whatever destination they were heading for, but instead he paused and negotiated for a stay in a tent nearby the workers. Even after all this time, Sephiroth didn’t understand what went on in the man’s head at all. The only things on the continent was the temple that had once held the Ancient’s key, upwards toward Icicle, and then…the northern crater.

Cloud paused, buying a few necessities like potions and elixirs even though he was far more deadly than any creature that ever lived. If he was powerful enough to defeat Sephiroth, then what did he have to fear? It seemed a waste of a day to him, but then again, who knew what went on in that head? His expression was entirely unreadable. The next morning he set off again, but this time pressed on hard. He didn’t stop for the night even in a blizzard and he reached Icicle Inn within another day…but didn’t rent a room. It was as if something was driving him onward, ever faster.

At that point, he knew where Cloud was going, though not why…and why not just ask his pilot friend to take him there? He had to leave Fenrir behind at the inn, knowing that such a recognizable bike would keep itself safe. Who would steal from the hero of Edge? That made the travel slower, but Cloud had at least managed to have a sense of direction now. Sephiroth wanted to berate him, at least a little, for going so far deep into the cold without any extra gear. SOLDIER-enhancements or not, he was still human and liable to freeze.

Frowning, he watched as after another day, they reached the crater wall. Cloud took one of the blades from First Tsuguri and dug it into the side, using that as a jumping on point…and leaping further into the crater. He slid down, bracing his feet as he slid down the wall, not that much snow to go through, surprisingly. As the side leveled out to a plateau over a deep pit, Cloud walked forward to the one thing that remained after their battle: Masamune.

The physical aspect of his sword stood, buried by the blade into the earth and held vertical like a grave marker, much like how Cloud cared very much so for the buster sword of Zack’s, marking where he’d died. A gloved hand touched the hilt, but drew back almost instantly, as if shocked at himself and respect. Sephiroth didn’t mind him touching the sword, Cloud was the only one he’d ever allow to do so.

“I thought so.”

Sephiroth tilted his head, the sound of Cloud’s voice shocking. Cloud never spoke, mostly because he was always alone. He’d…almost forgotten what it had sounded like. Besides, talking to yourself was a sign of madness, wasn’t it? He almost said ‘Thought what’ before he remembered that Cloud couldn’t see or hear him.

“I know you’re there, you know.” Cloud didn’t turn, kept his back toward where he’d come from and unknowingly where Sephiroth was. “I can’t see you. I can’t hear you…but I know you’re there. Did you think I couldn’t sense you? Even dead…I can feel you. I know what Aeris ‘feels like’, and I know what Zack ‘feels like’. I know what _you_ ‘feel like’.”

He could practically feel, through the Lifestream that allowed him to do this, Aeris asking if he wanted to be seen and heard, and he couldn’t have any way of making his fervent ‘no’ felt. He’d almost sent a psychic wave through her through their connection, begging her to keep it up. He couldn’t, couldn’t, bring more pain to Cloud.

“I knew that what I fought a year ago was just Kadaj, and your genes. It may have looked like you, but it was still Kadaj’s body…and this sword… That wasn’t the real Masamune. I put this here four years ago, digging it out of the crater. I didn’t think anyone would come get it and I was right. There’s even…a bit of dirt on it.” As if that was a great crime, Cloud dusted off the hilt with his gloved hands.

“What are you doing by following me? Are the insane Sephiroth that I killed three times…or the man that I looked up and adored? The man that I loved?”

Sephiroth’s eyes didn’t widen at the declaration, because he knew of Cloud’s feelings. They had been…so painfully obvious back then. He had seen that it was more than just hero worship like the others, had seen the desire in his gaze the very few times that their eyes had met, and also their hidden affection. He would be a fool not to know what Cloud felt…and even if he was a fool, which was arguably true after what he did, Zack had told him.

“But more than any of that…why won’t you talk to me? Even just to…taunt me. I saw the dead monsters, I recognize the slash marks of Masamune. You’re not… _him_ , the one that wanted to take what I loved, otherwise you wouldn’t protect me.”

Finally, Cloud turned to look around him, almost but not quite landing on where Sephiroth was standing. “Please…I’m begging you…talk to me.”

For what felt like an eternity, Sephiroth spoke since the first time he’d gone mad. “I can’t.” Only when blue eyes widened did he realize Aeris had ignored him. At the very least, he still couldn’t be seen, given how Cloud was looking almost frantically around. “The dead shouldn’t talk to the living…and especially I shouldn’t make a sound in front of the savior of the world.”

“…Savior of the world,” Cloud muttered, his tone making it clear that he hated the term. “I didn’t set out to save the world, but to stop you. I was always…hoping to get through to you.”

“I was too far gone, Strife. No one’s voice could reach me over the roaring of her words in my head.”

“Cloud.” At his silence, those blue eyes hardened. “My name is Cloud, so call me by that.”

After he had almost abused his name? Only his insane self had taken such liberties before… “…Cloud.”

He watched as a shiver went down the man’s spine and he didn’t know if it was from cold or the ring that his deep voice had unintentionally put on the name.  “What are you doing, following me?”

“It is…my penance.”

“Penance?”

“Self-imposed. I destroyed your life, your world, everything you loved. To see you reminds me of what I did, floods me with guilt and remorse, and that is what I deserve.”

“Don’t you want—”

“Forgiveness? No. I deserve none. This was not just some small mistake, Cloud. This was not just a matter of making a bad choice. I ended up destroying the world…and you remade it. Midgar is gone, to be replaced by Edge.”

“And if I said that I forgive you?”

“Then I would say you are truly born of Zack’s affection and caring, or that you are a saint as Ms Gainsborough is. I took the most from you before anyone else. By all rights, you should loathe me forever.”

“I don’t…and Sephiroth? I don’t think I can do it again. Kill you. I just can’t do it anymore.”

“I hope you won’t have to.” There was a heavy silence that fell between them before Sephiroth finally asked, “Do you wish me to cease?”

“No!” The word was practically belted out to him before Cloud calmed himself. “No. Please…don’t stop.”

Risking it, hoping that Aeris hadn’t changed something else, he approached and touched his gloved fingers to Cloud’s cheek. There was no reaction and he silently breathed a sigh of relief. “Then I will remain at your side, being the invisible hand next to you. Not that I believe you will ever need me…but I’ll be here to help you.”

“A Sephiroth summon?” Cloud quipped with a shallow smile and Sephiroth actually chuckled.

“I suppose so.”

“…Okay, but Sephiroth?” Cloud’s head lifted and looked right at where Sephiroth’s head was, and if it hadn’t been for the unfocused look in his eyes, he would have gulped in fear that he was seen. “One day…I’ll get you to let me see you. Then I’ll…talk to you face to face…and get you to take my forgiveness.  Then you’ll let me touch you and you’ll touch me.” There was a puff in the cold air as Cloud sighed. “And maybe…one day…I’ll even get you…to accept my feelings.”

He didn’t say anything for a long moment. “I’m honored by your thoughts, but Cloud…your feelings were accepted a long time ago.”

Those beautiful blue eyes went wide as saucers. “Then…do you…return them?”

Sephiroth couldn’t answer though, no matter how many times after that Cloud almost begged him to, repeating the question over and over. He dared not. It wasn’t that they weren’t returned, because Sephiroth had never felt for another person as much as much as he did for Cloud, but that he knew he had no right to have them. He accepted those feelings...had his own…and he would push Cloud as much as he could to someone else. Rufus, Reno, Tifa, Vincent, anyone else. Anyone else but him.

That desperation, that almost childish begging expression on blonde man’s face firmed and there was conviction as he said, “I’m not giving up, Sephiroth. I’ll always be chasing after you, even if now you’re the one following me.”

 _I know_ , was all he thought as the man yanked Masamune out of the ground and strapped it to his back, resolutely climbing out of the crater.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The silent shadow that guards Cloud can't be seen or felt or heard...but that doesn't mean Cloud doesn't know he's there...or who the person is.

The presence was like a shadow at his back. Cloud could sense it and whether Sephiroth knew it or not, he could sometimes, just sometimes, see him out of the corner of his eye, like a blurry figure. He figured Aeris was doing something, hiding him from sight, but even she couldn’t stop it entirely. Part of him wanted to be angry at Sephiroth for hiding, when the man he knew was the proud general, but he knew that even he could feel fear. Privately, Cloud figured the reason that he was resistant to allowing himself to be seen was partly motivated by that.

Yet he couldn’t find the words to reassure Sephiroth. There was nothing to fear from him. He…loved Sephiroth, even now. He’d forgive him in a heartbeat, if the man would _let_ him. Not for the first time did Cloud curse that he couldn’t get in touch with Aeris or Zack. It was a one way communication; they could get to him…and he couldn’t get to them.

It had been a month since their conversation at the Northern Crater and Sephiroth had never said a word. He could understand when he was in Edge, but not even at the church would the man make a peep. Cloud talked to him regardless, spilling out his thoughts and feelings like he had to no one else in three years.

He was leaning against one of the broken pews in the church, alone for once, and watching the water when footfalls caught his attention. He looked up and raised an eyebrow at seeing Rufus, surrounded by his Turks. The former heir to the ShinRa empire had healed well once his Geostigma had been cured and he had dispensed with the wheelchair at least six months ago, from what he’d heard. He had been quiet and if Reeve’s hints were any indication, just little hints, the man’s fortune that was somewhere hidden was funneling money into the WRO.

That didn’t mean he wasn’t going to be suspicious at his sudden presence. “Rufus. What are you doing here?”

“I can’t come here?” was the cool reply and nonchalantly Rufus approached the pool, looking down into the crystal clear waters.

“We both know you don’t go anywhere without a purpose.”

“Should I be honored that you know so much about my risky situation?”

Cloud snorted and crossed his arms, saying with a frown, “If someone caught sight of you, you could be dead. There are still plenty of people that hate your name.”

“I’m aware.” Finally pale blue eyes turned to him and why was he not surprised when they broached the reason he was here? “I’ve been made aware that you have a…new friend.”

“New friend?”

Rufus’ head tilted and he smiled just a little, that smug little one that made Cloud want to hit him. “I believe his name started with an S… What was it, Tseng? Remind me.”

“Sephiroth, sir,” the Wutaian promptly replied.

He surged to his feet, angered that Rufus would make light of Sephiroth. “How the hell did you hear about that?”

“Oh, I have my ways.”

“Screw your ways, Rufus.” With a sharp movement, he had gripped Rufus’ white jacket and yanked him forward. “Tell me.” He ignored the rustle from the Turks, the drawing of guns behind him and Reno’s warning sound.

“I have connections, Cloud Strife. Not spies,” he added, seeing Cloud’s almost mutinous expression. “However you’re not the only one that noticed.”

“Who else noticed?!” Who else had had such dips into the Lifestream that enabled them to sense Sephiroth? Who else alive had JENOVA blood in them to know that he was there?

“Vincent Valentine’s condition with his demons gives him…valuable senses.”

“Vincent wouldn’t help you do anything, so how did you get him to tell you? _If_ you’re telling the truth.”

Rufus tried to brush off Cloud’s grip and for the moment, he let the man do so. “You might be surprised about his concern for you.”

“Nice try, Rufus. He still wouldn’t have—”

Finally something seemed to ruffle that calm demeanor and Rufus sent him an irritated look at his combativeness. “If you absolutely must know, it was coincidence. I make it a habit to continue to keep an eye out for anything related to JENOVA and Tseng was exploring a cave. He overheard Valentine speaking to a woman encased in crystal. Her name was Lucrecia, I believe.”

“Amazing coincidence,” he said dryly.

“Believe it or not, if you want, I don’t care.”

Well, it was at least some explanation, but it left one lingering question. “So what do you want, now that you know?”

“Why must you believe I want something?”

“Rufus…”

Looking around, Rufus spotted his chest of materia and sat down on it like it were a throne. He wore his usual white suit and coat and while there was no obvious signs of weapons on his person, Cloud knew that somewhere he still held that shotgun. “I wanted to know if we should be preparing for another fight, frankly.”

“No! Sephiroth…he’s not like that. Not right now.”

“I suppose he told you this himself?”

Cloud ignored the skepticism. “I can feel it, Rufus. You think I don’t know the difference? Besides, if he was evil, why would he spend such time and effort to save me?”

Blonde eyebrows hit his hairline. “Save you? Save _you_? What could possibly threaten _you_ , of all people??”

He almost blushed, not wanting to admit that they were… Well, when Sephiroth acted, they were against creatures he didn’t need to even break a sweat for, but how embarrassing would it be for the man if he were to tell Rufus that he was doing it to make sure Cloud got to sleep at night? “Does it matter?”

Rufus leveled him with a piercing gaze, as if trying to divine the secrets he wouldn’t tell. “…I suppose not. Then what are you planning on doing?”

“Doing?”

What…was he planning on doing? Spending the rest of his life like this? Cloud had no idea what his lifespan would be like, whether or not he’d ever even grown old and die. If he didn’t, was he going to conceivably spend eternity with Sephiroth like his shadow, protecting him? He had made a bold statement about getting Sephiroth to open up to him, to touch him, and speak to him, and let him see him, but that could conceivably take a long time.

“Surely you have some plan in mind? Or are you enjoying having him as your lackey now instead of the other way around?”

If looks could kill, Rufus would have been dead at that statement, so fierce was Cloud’s glare. Could he…bring back Sephiroth? If he could, should he? His friends would…they would never forgive him. The world would never forgive him. If he did live with no conceivable end to his life, would it be better to wait for those he loved to…pass on before even considering the option? It seemed too cruel by far to be unable to die and join his friends and yet not be able to bring them back. To always be separated…

“Leave, Rufus.”

“Why?”

“Because I said so. Right now.”

He had expected a fight, but instead, Rufus merely stood up and wandered past him as if it had been his idea all along. “If you do decide to do something…drastic, like perhaps resurrecting him, do be sure to let me know. You’ll need my help, after all.”

He didn’t say anything and he heard a boom as one of the remaining doors on the church was closed behind him.

-0-0-0-0-

The behemoth cried out in pain and slumped to the ground, and Cloud watched as a long, deadly slice across its throat appeared. It wasn’t as if the creature would have caused him too much trouble, but he let Sephiroth handle it. Maybe the man wanted to stretch his muscles, to have something to fight. Three hits and it was dead, still trying to pinpoint where the enemy was coming from.

“It’s a shame,” he said to the empty air, not knowing where Sephiroth was except that he was there, somewhere. “Watching you fight is like watching a dance, it’s a shame that I can’t see it.”

Cloud didn’t know if he felt embarrassed to admit something like that or not. Had it been a few years ago, he would have been blushing to the roots of his hair, if he’d been able to get it out at all. Yet now it flowed out as if it were the most natural thing in the world to say. Maybe…just maybe it was _because_ he couldn’t see the man. It was easier to say the things on his mind when he didn’t have to look into the face of the one he loved.

He turned and braced First Tsuguri into the ground tip first before leaning against Fenrir. “It’s been three months, Sephiroth. That was the last time you said a word, up at the crater. _Talk_ to me. Is there…anything I can do to convince you to say a single word? I know you’re there, I can feel you against my senses.”

He didn’t actually expect an answer, to be honest, so he started a little when Sephiroth’s low voice filtered around him. “What would you like me to say?”

“Does it matter what it is?”

Cloud could only imagine Sephiroth pacing. “Cloud… I know what it is that you’re trying to do, but please… Don’t do this to yourself.”

“Do…what to myself?” he asked, mystified.

“Your friend in Edge…she loves you. The children love you. You—”

“Stop right there, Sephiroth,” he said, eyes narrowing at nothing. “I know what you’re trying to do. It might have worked when I was fifteen, but it won’t work now. You can try all you want to push me toward Tifa, hell you could even try to push me to _Reno_ of all people, and it won’t work. I’ll tell you as many times as it takes: _I love you._ That won’t change. If you never return my feelings, then I’ll just die like this. I won’t… I can’t live without you and I won’t live with someone else under the pretext that they can have my heart when I’ve already given it to someone else.”

“…When did you become so certain and bold?”

“Probably from when I knew you were there and couldn’t see you,” he said with a rueful smile. “I’m pulling on Zack here. I was wrong, I know, to take his memories and act as if his life was mine, but—”

“You need to stop right there then.” Sephiroth’s voice was almost…amused. “I have it on good authority that the person you speak of isn’t angry with you. In fact, he was honored that you chose him. If it was what you needed to help you live, Zack would have given even more than that. You have no need for guilt.”

Cloud sighed in relief. “And Aeris? Does she…”

“Do you even need to ask that question?”

“…No, I guess not. They were always… No wonder they were practically soulmates, they fit each other so well.  As…difficult as it is to admit it, it’s kind of the same way that Rufus and Tseng are for each other.” He paused and decided to tackle an issue he hadn’t brought up yet. “I’m assuming you were listening when we were talking in the church?”

“Yes.”

“And?”

There was a sigh. “I cannot stress enough how much you shouldn’t do what thoughts he planted in your mind. I belong dead. I don’t even belong in the Lifestream, but Ms Gain—Aeris insisted that I do. Your position…even that will not save you if you choose to do something so monumentally foolish.”

“Don’t I deserve to be happy?!” Cloud argued back, frustrated. “Can’t they give me that at least? I didn’t set out to be a savior! I just wanted to help _you_! So after everything I did, and what I suffered, don’t you think that I deserve even a little happiness of my own?! Shouldn’t they let me have one thing that eases my pain at all?! Why do I have to sacrifice even that for—”

His breath caught in his throat fiercely as he felt a strange sensation against his cheek, like…gloved fingers. “You deserve it more than anyone, to be happy…but how can I do that? After what I’ve done, surely when you look at me, all you can see is the pain and anguish I’ve put you through.”

“Well we’ll never know since I _can’t_ see you,” he muttered, words sounding less confident than he was expecting. They were shaky as he tried to assimilate the fact that if there was that briefest of touches to his cheek from fingertips that Sephiroth had to be _right there_ in front of him.

“And I pray you never will. I wish for your happiness more than anyone else, Cloud, and I know that a monster like myself could never give you that.”

“Shouldn’t I be the one to decide that?” he asked, internally wincing at how his voice came out so pleadingly.

There was something…something…against his lips. Was it his imagination that it felt…like a touch? Was it a touch of fingers or…Sephiroth’s mouth? Or was it all his imagination, his mind making up sensations because he wanted it so badly? When Sephiroth was concerned, Cloud really didn’t know what reality was half the time. They had a connection beyond anything he’d ever experienced, one that would last for the rest of his life, no matter how long that would be. Their very blood was connected, thanks to the JENOVA cells, and he didn’t think he could ever feel ‘whole’ without him there. It was all because of the cells, he was sure; it was why Kadaj and everyone felt drawn to Sephiroth for the reunion: he was the hub…but Cloud knew that it was deeper than others just because of his feelings. He was willing and happy to have that connection. He didn’t care whether it would be considered healthy in his friends’ opinion or not. He had absolutely no desire to severe that artificial and dangerous connection.

Unlike before, where he’d been unable to pinpoint where that voice had been coming from, Sephiroth’s soft voice felt loud in his left ear, as if the man had leaned in and let his lips hover right next to it. “You can’t think straight around me, Cloud, and it is through no fault of your own. Since you…can’t see what is best for you because of that, I’ll be the one to look out for you.”

It sounded so high-handed and it frustrated and annoyed him, but that whispered voice kept him frozen in place as if the General had ordered him to not move a muscle. It was like a command he just could not break. “What…do you think…is best for me?”

There was a moment of silence and he thought he heard in that impassive voice just a bit of pain, as if it hurt him to say what he did. “I think it is best…that you put me out of your mind. You have people waiting for you in Edge, who smile when you return. They love you…so I think it is best that you take back the heart you’ve given me and gift it to them.”

“It doesn’t work that way, Sephiroth,” he muttered. When there was no reply, he stiffened. “Sephiroth? Sephiroth!” He growled deep in his throat. “You can’t just stop talking and run away from this! We’re still talking!” Frustrated, Cloud dug his fingers through his hair. “I’m not done talking about this,” he warned the empty air. “This is not over.”

Cloud straightened and set First Tsuguri in its holster at his back and swung onto Fenrir. This discussion was not over. Not by a long shot.

-End-


	3. Silent Shadow (3)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The silent shadow that guards Cloud can't be seen or felt or heard...but that doesn't mean Cloud doesn't know he's there...or who the person is.

Sephiroth watched as Cloud stalked into the church with an almost righteous fury. He stopped right at the edge of the pool and looked down into its depths. “Aeris!” he almost shouted.

“Wow, you’ve really made him angry.”

He turned to look at Zack leaning nearby, who was staring at the man’s back in front of him. “I’m only doing what’s best for him.”

“You know what he’s going to ask Aeris, don’t you?”

“He wants to see me.”

“He wants more than that…and she’ll probably give it to him.” Sephiroth sighed. He didn’t agree with it at all…but it was only through Aeris’ control of the Lifestream that he’d been able to remain silent and unseen until now. If she chose to remove that protection, then so be it. “And he does have a point.”

“I know,” he muttered as Zack faded away and Cloud spun on his heel. Their eyes met and it was like someone had just punched his gut. He felt like he couldn’t breathe for a minute and he was frozen to the spot. Cloud stalked up to him, hands reaching out…and grabbed him. He looked solid, real, and he felt it. He had no idea if it was permanent, if others could see him, if it was only Cloud…and he didn’t have time to worry about it. Said savior of the world was looking very angrily at him.

“Sephiroth, you think you’ve done me so much harm that I can’t ever forgive you, right?” He nodded, vocal cords silent at feeling those strong hands on his wrists. “Then you owe me and I’m here to collect. You have to do something for me.”

“…What is it you require?”

“That you _stop pushing me_ towards someone else! I don’t, can’t, love anyone other than you! I want you to love me back so much, but right now, I’ll at least settle for you to stop talking about how I need to be with someone else.”

Seeing the absolute earnestness in his face, Sephiroth sighed and hung his head. It hid his face behind his long hair, but Cloud didn’t leave it like that. The man stepped closer until they were almost molded together and looked up beneath the silvery curtain. “Please, Sephiroth?”

“Would what you ask…make you happy?”

“Yes.”

The simple answer, so prompt, made him wonder what he had been doing for so long. Had he somehow been tormenting Cloud while trying to make him happy? Was he constantly missing the signs? Zack would tell him that it would be no big deal, he just had to learn, but it seemed as if no matter what he tried to do, it was wrong. “…Then I won’t mention it again.”

“Good.” There was a long pause and then Cloud’s left, gloved hand came up to touch his cheek. His voice was weaker now, more uncertain. “Then…what’s your answer?”

“To what?” Hadn’t he just agreed?

“To…my feelings. I just declared them pretty boldly a minute ago. How…do you feel about me?”

It was as Sephiroth was looking at him that he was reminded just how _young_ Cloud really was. He was only twenty-two years old and for a brief moment, with his anxiety over the question, he looked it. It was enough to break the general’s heart. He had taken away that innocence and yet here he was, still loving him no matter what he’d done. “Cloud…” His deep voice felt, and sounded, raw. “There…are no words…to describe the depth of what I feel. It goes beyond your body, beyond your soul. The words ‘I love you’ are pale in comparison to how I feel. You didn’t give up on me and I just want…you to be happy. I fear I can’t be that for you, that I’ll be a constant reminder…but I can’t escape you even if we were apart.”

A soft smile, so rarely seen, stretched Cloud’s lips. “Is that a confession?”

Sephiroth gave a despairing chuckle. “I give in. Once again, you beat me, Cloud. …Yes, it was.”

It was Cloud that moved first after that. He’d barely finished speaking before those strong lips were latched onto his and it was actually quite…cute that even now Cloud was leaning up just a little because of their height difference. They parted after a too short kiss and he watched as the blonde haired man all but ripped off his gloves, tossing them on the floor, and buried his fingers in the silky, silvery mane of hair in front of him. “I’ve wanted to do that for my entire life,” he whispered before they were kissing again.

The general held the man tight to him, knowing that what he was doing was all but sacrilegious. He was the villain, the enemy of the planet, and this was the very man that had killed him time and time again. He had no right to be kissing him, to be holding him, or feeling… _happy_ about it. His hands slid down to Cloud’s rear and he squeezed just a little before he gripped those strong thighs and lifted the shorter man up into his arms. Legs wrapped around his waist without pause and Sephiroth only broke the kiss to let Cloud breathe. He didn’t need it, being dead and all, but his partner did.

“Do I live up to your dreams?” he whispered.

“Live up to them? Sephiroth, you surpass them. You always did, and you do now.” Cloud’s arms wrapped around his shoulders and he hugged him tight. The silence was wonderful and slowly Sephiroth kneeled to set Cloud on the floor as they cuddled next to the pool. He would have been content to merely kiss the rest of eternity, but Cloud was continuing. “I want you.”

“I know,” he murmured.

“No, I mean…I want you…alive.”

He froze again. “Cloud…that…”

But those blue eyes tinged with green were deadly serious. “I mean it, Sephiroth. I’m going to talk to Aeris or Rufus, anyone that can…bring you back.”

“Need I mention _again_ what a bad idea that is? What that could do? They could…turn on you. Not just your friends, but…the entire world.”

“Then we’ll find a place to live, just the two of us, like Rufus does with the Turks, where no one can find us.”

Where was all that optimism coming from? Sephiroth shifted, burying his hands in his hair in concern. “Assuming it’s possible, and you don’t know that it is, where could you possibly go that you’d be safe?”

“ _We_ , Sephiroth.”

Part of his mind that he was trying to _ignore_ said that there was really nothing anyone could do to harm them. They were the most powerful beings that this planet had ever seen. Yet Sephiroth really didn’t want to be the cause of another war. He didn’t want to have to go through another bloody war like with Wutai. He most definitely didn’t want to be the cause of a rift between Cloud and the people he called friends. “You are every bit as stubborn as Zack,” he muttered.

The one thing that could have convinced him, though, and did, was that lovely smile.

-0-0-0-0-

“I thought we’d see you again.”

Sephiroth watched as Cloud entered the small home that Rufus was living in with the Turks. No one looked at him, so it was a safe bet to assume that while Cloud could see him, no one else could. He leaned against the wall, listening quietly as he appraised the former heir to the ShinRa Empire. Rufus had a few more scars than he had before, but he seemed healthy and there wasn’t the coiled nature of the man that he’d had before. For all his meddling, he seemed…content.

“So that’s it.”

He shifted, paying more attention to the conversation. “If you can get his soul, intact, from the Lifestream, we can have a body for it…and we can also ‘relocate’ you. No one will find either of you.”

Cloud’s eyes narrowed. “And what do you want for it?”

“Believe it or not, Cloud, but nothing. I think we, the people and the planet, and myself personally, owe you too much to ask for payment. If you want to tell your friends, or the world, before this and then ‘disappear’ that’s fine. If you want to just disappear without a word, that’s fine too.” Rufus shifted in his chair, bracing his chin on his hand.

Cloud turned to look at him, what to them was just a wall, but their eyes followed anyway. “What do you think?”

“If you let it be known I’m resurrected, there will be a manhunt, led by some of your most…zealous compatriots, but it isn’t my place to say.” Seeing Cloud’s almost mutinous look, he sighed in frustration. “I don’t think it would be a bad idea to perhaps write a letter to one of your friends that you feel is the most…neutral.”

Cloud nodded and turned to Rufus. “I think I’ll make a note to Vincent that you can…give to him after we disappear. He can tell the others what he wants, but if he tells them the truth and they decide they can forgive me and want to talk to me, Vincent can come to you.”

“Oh, we’re gate guards now?” Rufus rubbed his chin idly with his fingers, but there was a smile on his lips. “We will be the only ones to know your location, then. It shall be…interesting…to be your spokesperson. That’s an unexpected turn of events.”

“Rufus…”

Rufus waved away the warning tone. “Give us time to create the body. I assume you want it to look as close to the original as we can make it?”

“Yes.”

“We’ll contact you when it’s done then.”

As Cloud nodded and left the house, Sephiroth followed quietly. He didn’t say anything, but his worry was palpable. He knew in his head this was a very bad idea, but somehow he didn’t care. His heart was screaming for it, to be able to know that the arms that went around the man he loved were real. That the sensations he was feeling weren’t simulated, brought on by his memory.

“You’re worrying again.”

Sephiroth looked at Cloud watching him, but smiled as best he could. “Always.”

-0-0-0-0-

He opened his eyes as the sunlight flooded in their small bedroom. Cloud was wrapped up in his arms and Sephiroth internally groaned in happiness that he’d get to wake up to this for the rest of his life. Their hidden home was in a place that was only accessible via gold chocobo. Not even an air craft could land because of its small size, the dense forest, and surprisingly high rocky area surrounding it. Round Island, the only place that the Knights of the Round materia ever crystallized.

“What are you doing awake?”

He looked down at the sleepy voice and he ran his bare fingers through that spiky blonde hair. It had been two weeks and they hadn’t heard from Rufus at all. He had to admit that when the Turks did a job, they did it right. Thanks to Aeris, the transference into the identical body had gone smoothly and they’d both been given new cell phones. Only Rufus and the Turks knew the numbers, Cloud reluctantly handing over his old phone. It would still be used, kept for emergencies, but with Rufus, and Sephiroth was glad. It would be ringing constantly.

It was rather obvious, after all, when the savior of the world went ‘missing’.

“Are you sure you’re…all right with this?” he asked for what felt like the hundredth time. “You gave up your life for this…”

There was no uncertainty in Cloud’s face, though, no hint of regret. “I…miss my friends, yes, Sephiroth…but I don’t regret it and I’m all right with my choice. I’ve ‘done enough’ as Aeris said, and now…I can be happy. You make me happy.”

“You still flinch when I touch you.”

“Only when you come up from behind and I don’t hear you. It’s…reflexes. They’ll go away eventually.” Steel came into those eyes. “And don’t begin to think you don’t deserve this, Sephiroth. I’ll say it for a hundred years or more: I forgive you.”

He sighed and slipped from the bed, pulling on his leather pants. Cloud watched him for a minute before doing the same and they stepped out of the small house that Cloud had made with his own two hands. It wasn’t…perfect, as Cloud was no carpenter, but they’d fix it up little by little. That Cloud had spent that month while his body was being created making this just for them was…somehow more precious than anything else he’d ever seen. Nearby their gold chocobos were grazing, paying no attention to them. There was little to nothing on the island, the isolation soothing to Sephiroth.

Fingers twined with his and he looked at the man next to him bathed in sunlight. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so…happy.” The smile stretched from ear to ear and he couldn’t help tasting those lips with his mouth. “Just like sunlight,” he murmured.

“I didn’t think you could be so sappy, Sephiroth.” Before he could apologize, Cloud continued. “If I’m the sun, you’re the moon. You certainly have the color for it.” Sephiroth almost rolled his eyes at how they were acting, but he couldn’t bring himself to protest. Out here, it was easy to forget the world. They were the world. “Don’t tell Zack, but I had a strange dream last night.”

A devastatingly handsome eyebrow rose. “What dream?”

“You know, now that I think about it, I’m not going to tell you either.”

He eased up behind the golden-haired man and wrapped his arms around his waist. Cloud leaned back into his arms as if he didn’t even have to think about it. As if they were the safest place he had ever known. “I can find a way to get it out of you.” He paused and narrowed his eyes. “Well, I suppose it doesn’t matter, so long as they don’t involve little white-haired children.”

“…What kind of dreams have _you_ been having?” Cloud replied with an incredulous laugh.

“I don’t have dreams.”

“…You don’t?”

Sephiroth looked down into that concerned face. “Why do I need to dream…when what I dreamt before is now my reality?”

His internal cringing at how that came out, how unnecessarily ‘sappy’ it was, was still somehow worth it at seeing how Cloud glowed. Maybe, just maybe…he could accept forgiveness.

-0-End-0-


End file.
